The metamorphosis of you

 Hi everyone, it's your inconsistent writer here with another blog post. Did you miss me? Because I definitely miss writing in general. I haven't been the best mentally and it consequently has affected my ability to draft anything without thinking it's hot garbage. 

So no, this isn't an article, but a short story I wrote without any intention of posting it. I figured that writing isn't linear and I'd rather churn out whatever I can than not do what I love doing entirely. I hope to feel better soon, so I'd be back to giving y'all fun content. But for now, bear with me❤️.

The metamorphosis of you

When you're young, they tell you to be hopeful of the future, they say you're a gifted child -a prodigy even, and they put you amongst other children much older than you because they're certain you'd catch up, you do.

When you're a little older, just entering the stage of pre-adolescence, you yearn to remain gifted. You're the teacher's pet, head girl and senior prefect, your classmates easily ramble your name off as people who'd always go to the exam hall and request for extra sheets. Your parents gloat about you to their colleagues and friends at any given chance they get. You like it, you don't mention that it's getting harder to maintain this title or that like your friends, you also want to indulge in teenage carelessness. So, you become. 

When you're much older and ready to enter the world of adulthood and university, you're enthusiastic to once again make your parents proud, you're certain you'll be the best- It comes easily for you. But that isn't quite the case as you realize you're not that special, there a hundreds of you and even thousands who are much more better. You come to the bitter truth that you aren't and will never be enough- it almost wrecks you, this truth.

You spend your days putting up this facade of self-assuredness like the rest of them and your nights crying yourself to sleep, you sink deeply into self loathing. You cannot stand the sight of yourself in a mirror as that too you realize, wasn't as beautiful as you grew up to believe.

The pain eats you up but you still try to chase that image, what you've always thought to be true. It is hard to accept that you are in fact mediocre - another insignificant member of life. You unravel and find it difficult to function on some days, even difficult to breathe. You scar yourself to feel something, anything other than not being enough. At least you're good at punishing yourself that way.

You look for other things to pursue, other things to fill the void as everybody else your age has things they love. Even that too doesn't thrive because you somehow manage to screw it up. See, whatever you pursue simply ends up in failure. You try, I'll give you that. You try as much as you can to do better but laughable as it seems, you don't get it right.

What then is your purpose gifted child?

I really don't know.

Hope you enjoyed it, make sure to comment and share if you did. Ciao💕.